Prelude to Paradise
by Silver Spider
Summary: “Aaron, what are you talking about?” dark eyes shined with a mixture of confusion and pity. “I'm selfish,” the young man finally blurted out. Post Reckoning story.


**_Author's Note:_** I believe I am the very first fanfic writer in this fandom. Woot! Ok so I thought that there wasn't enough father/son bonding in "Reckoning" and since I love stuff like that, I decided to add a scene. This is a talk that I feel must have taken place at some point, because while Aaron is the One and all that jazz and Lucifer is the first of the fallen, I feel like their primary relationship would be as father ans son. Why do I think that? Because in "Reckoning" even as he thought he was about to die and would never have the chance to be forgiven, he thanked Verchiel for giving him the chance to meet his son, even if it was in his subconscious mind. As for Aaron, he finally did accept that Lucifer was his father, even if he never called him that to his face, at least not in the course of the books.

**Prelude to Paradise**

**By: Silver Spider**

A glorious night hung over Saint Athanasius Church and Orphanage. Despite the growing cold, the weather was gorgeous. The sky was completely clear, not a single cloud covered the shining stars. Lucifer Morningstar took a deep breath, inhaling the crisp autumn air. Here, in the dead of night, it felt like everything was right with the world. Of course, it was far from the truth. The evils that had been neglected by the Powers still festered on God's world, and now it was the job of the Nephilim to purge them from the face of the Earth. But for at least a few precious hours, he could pretend that everything was well.

Footsteps echoed on the roof tiles, and Lucifer casually glanced over his shoulder at Aaron who took cautious steps across the roof towards him. He offered his son a smile and Aaron returned it, but for a moment, the fallen angel thought that perhaps it felt a little forced. The teen reached him a moment later and slowly lowered himself onto the rooftop next to his father. They sat in silence for a moment, until Lucifer finally cleared his throat.

"Beautiful night," he said, his gaze once again fixed on the stars.

"Yeah," Aaron agreed absently. "Probably won't see too much more of it when the colder weather really sets in."

"So you're out here stargazing?" he knew that wasn't the case but Lucifer wasn't about to launch into an interrogation. If Aaron wanted to talk, he would bring up whatever was bothering him on his own.

"No," the Nephilim shook his head. "Just couldn't sleep. What's your excuse?"

"Couldn't sleep." That wasn't entirely true. Though Nephilim usually has normal human sleeping patterns, while angels could go much longer without sleep, eventually all living things needed rest. Only when Lucifer closed his eyes, he saw the past atrocities of the Great War, the faces of countless brothers who lay dead for his insane cause. Naturally, he preferred his current and much more pleasant place to the past, but there was no need to concern his son with such matters.

"Do you come up here often?" Aaron asked.

"When I have a moment," the fallen angel replied. "I like it here. Reminds me of home."

At those words, the teen looked away, his eyes focusing on the roof tiles. Even if Lucifer hadn't realized it, his words were the very reason he was there in the middle of the night.

"Have you..." Aaron paused, looking for the right words. "Have you known Nephilim to practice confession?"

Lucifer released an amused laugh, but his face grew somber when he saw the look of genuine concern in his son's eyes. "If they like," he replied. "Why?"

Aaron sighed, resting his forearms on his knees and stared at the roof tiles, avoiding his father's gaze. It was times like these that he found it impossible to look the fallen angel in the eyes. Those eyes that mirrored his own. "I have something to confess."

"Alright," Lucifer nodded slowly before a grin pulled at the corner of his lips. "I promise you're not going to Hell."

Aaron opened his mouth to protest, his face screwed up in near agony. He didn't appreciate the joke, mostly because Aaron was afraid that if he didn't say it now, after it had taken him so long to gather the courage, he would never get the words out.

"Sorry," Lucifer waved his hand dismissively, sensing the agitation in the young man's voice. "I'm listening, son."

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened back at the old Aerie, after Verchiel's defeat."

He was, in a round about way, referring to the release of all the fallen angels of Aerie and their return to Heaven. Well, all but one fallen. For some reason, Aaron's touch of divine forgiveness hadn't reached his father, the first of the fallen. Disturbed by this and feeling more than a little guilty, the young Nephilim had spent a long time trying to understand why was it that he could help everyone else but his own father. The conclusion he finally reached did not seem any more satisfying than the paradox itself.

"Aaron, this is not necessary," Lucifer shook his head. "You don't owe me or anyone else any explanation. Your abilities come from Him, and sometimes we are not meant to see why things work out the way they do. You are not obligated to..."

"I am," Aaron interrupted. "I am obligated, because this has nothing to do with God or with the other fallen. It has to do with me and you and the fact that this is no one's fault but my own."

"Aaron, what _are_ you talking about?" dark eyes shined with a mixture of confusion and pity. Though his son's distress was clear, Lucifer couldn't fathom were it was coming from.

"I'm selfish," the young man finally blurted out.

"Aaron..."

"No, I am," his voice rose, and there was just the barest hint of a quiver to it. "I'm very selfish. I finally figured it out, why I couldn't... send you back. It's not because I don't think you deserve forgiveness or because God doesn't forgive you or because you haven't done enough penance. It's me." Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to spill out. "I couldn't send you back because... because I'm not ready to let you go."

The expression on the fallen angel's face softened instantly as a solitary tear spilled from the confines of Aaron's eyes and ran a trail down his right cheek. "Ever since this insanity started," Aaron continued, the words coming out in a rush as if he'd forget everything he wanted to say. "Verchiel's taken so much from me; my foster parents, my brother. He killed Camael, and even in Aerie I still felt out of place. And the whole time I thought 'I can handle it. I can take it all if only something good – anything good – could come out of this.' And something good _did_ come out of it: I met you. No, you weren't what I expected, but you're still my father, and I just couldn't... I can't let you go."

Aaron felt like he couldn't breath between his sobs. He took a great risk in telling his father the truth, but it had to be said. Now all he could do was wait for a reaction from the first of the fallen. Would his father hate him? Would he be angry? Aaron couldn't imagine how could he _not_ be angry or disappointed. After all those hundreds upon thousands of years of being not only banished from Heaven but being forced to carry the punishment that was Hell, Aaron knew for a fact that Lucifer was genuinely sorry, that he deserved forgiveness. He knew that by all right he should restore the Morningstar to Heaven like he had done for so many others. But this was not just another fallen angel. This was his father, and try as he might, Aaron just couldn't shake the selfish feeling that demanded to hold on to the only remaining family he had.

"I know how selfish that is," he started again, tears running down his face in earnest. "And I would completely understand if you hated me for it, but I..."

"Aaron," his father said his name but either he didn't hear him or couldn't respond amidst the sobs. "Aaron," he repeated this time with insistence and took a firm hold of the young man's face between his hand, forcing his son to finally look him in the eyes. "Listen to me. It is not wrong for a child to want – need – his parent. No matter the age and, apparently, no matter the parent. Do I miss my Father and brothers? Very much so. Do I want to go home? Of course. But none of that matters at the moment. As long as you need me here, I will be here. Understand?"

A look passed over Aaron's face, and he swallowed hard, momentarily wondering what it was that his father was saying. The emotion that passed over him, which was arguably even stronger then the fear he experienced from his confession, seemed completely foreign to the young man. He searched is memory for the closest thing he'd ever felt to it, and his mind flashed back to a simpler time mere months ago when he was still just a high school student living with his foster parents. Lori and Tom Stanly had loved him, Aaron didn't doubt that, but this feeling was stronger.

Unconditional love. He certainly heard the idea, but Aaron never dreamed that the term would ever be directed at him. After all, it was the kind of love a parent had for a child, and he... well, he had just been some orphan no one wanted. Except, Aaron had come to realize, he wasn't one anymore. He had a family, a real family.

"Father," Aaron managed to choke out, dimly realizing that that was the first time he allowed himself to use that word in the fallen angel's presence. "Forgive me."

Lucifer sighed, a bitter sweet look playing across his handsome features. Even if Aaron hadn't intended for the words to come out that way, they had been exactly what he'd been yearning to say to his Father for many millennium. But now was not the time to think about that. Now was the time to concentrate on his family on Earth, his son.

"Son," he finally said, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "There is nothing to forgive. But I thank you for confiding in me."

Aaron nodded, releasing what sounded a great deal like a sigh of relief. He absently looked around and casually wiped the tear streaks from his face with the back of his hand. If anyone was awake down in the church, questions would be asked, and Aaron didn't feel like explaining himself. "Are you staying up here much longer?" he asked his father.

"Maybe till sunrise," Lucifer replied thoughtfully. "I do love the dawn."

"Alright," Aaron nodded, getting up. "I think I'll go see if I can save some of that sleep. Good night."

"Night," he watched his son rise and walk back across to the small opening in the roof that lead beck to the attic of the church.

The Morningstar turned his eyes back to the night sky, marveling at how his life managed to change so drastically in such short a time. In the past, he wouldn't have even bothered to count centuries and yet in just under two decades, he'd gained a paradise that he dared say rivaled Heaven itself. First, when he'd found Taylor, Lucifer had thought that at least for a time, he could let himself be a normal man. When the dreams returned and he knew that he had to leave, he felt as if paradise was lost to him once again. And then he realized that all was not lost. Taylor, and all the hope that she'd brought to him, lived through Aaron.

"Thank you," Lucifer looking into the morning light that had just begun to graze the horizon, unsure if his gratitude was for God or Taylor. "Thank you for my son."


End file.
